Design Your Life

Learning to Love You

smile on the outside

I’m totally new at this and I’m not going to try to be something I’m not. Instead I’m going to put myself out there and hope to inspire you to do amazing things for yourself. Although I’ve always tried to put myself out there I’ve also always held back.. and only those closest to me know why.

I have struggled with merely liking myself my entire life — it is my problem and my vice. I know that it’s important for me to get this under control, to find love for myself in order to improve my quality of life, succeed at the goals I work towards and continue to be inspired — but how?

Well it IS hard, but once you begin on the road to self-love you will notice your life and appreciation for life looking brighter and brighter. You get what you put out in a sense, so start focusing on positive things and treating others as you would like to be treated. You’ll see a change. It’s always hard at first — anxiety, change, fear — it’s scary. You’ll begin to notice that when you force yourself to do the things you used avoid they become easier to do.

In my quest for self-improvement I have come across the most wonderful, inspirational girl, website and podcast. Her name is Gala Darling and she has a blog devoted to crowning your beautiful life and an amazing self-improvement podcast.

“You cannot be lonely if you like the person you are alone with.”
– Wayne Dyer

Does comparing yourself to others create negative feelings which cause you to feel bad about yourself? This happens to everyone, everyone is improving themselves in someway. Comparison is the all purpose killer, everyone is absolutely different in every way and has their own story, life, dna, experiences, etc. This is your only life, make it worth your while and don’t let others, who may not even really know you, define you.

You have to reprogram your thinking and start to take notice of the things you enjoy about yourself and about life. Sure everyone has something about them that may cause you to clash with others, but what things attract others to you? What things are important to the person that you are? If you feel you are working towards bettering yourself and achieving your goals you will feel more satisfied and confident.

Remember you cannot change the way that people treat you, if they like you or even if they want to give you the time of day. You have to show them why they should give you the time of day and if they respond negatively, change the way you react to it. You cannot change anyone or make everyone like you so someday you’re going to have to reprogram the way criticism makes you feel.

Making a Change

Don’t worry. Worrying changes nothing.
Make a list of and focus on your good qualities and attributes; don’t focus on negative ones.
Be kind to others, see yourself in them.
Find your passion and set achievable goals daily.
Choose a role model; their good qualities can inspire you to be a better person.
Accept compliments.
Know that you are a valuable person. Your time is valuable.
Take care of yourself.
Celebrate your differences.
Make eye contact with others when interacting.
Act confident even if you aren’t, if you don’t feel it now you’ll start to.
Consider adopting a cat for responsibility, a routine, comfort and unconditional love.
Take action.

“Many people appreciate the power of positive thinking. But we believe that positive thinking alone is of limited value. Simply repeating positive affirmations such as “I am a wonderful person with much to offer the world” will NOT change your life unless you actively DO something to reinforce that you ARE a wonderful person with much to offer the world!” , Self-Esteem for Women.

“I have an everyday religion that works for me. Love yourself first, and everything else falls into line.”
– Lucille Ball

.. and remember, if we’re new at this we need to take it one day at a time.

“Keep looking at the bright-side and someday you’ll see yourself there.”
– Benjamin Amick aka Mistereducated


How to Love Yourself in 17 Ways

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  • Reply Jennifer 10/21/2009 at 9:02 am

    Definitely second the cat adoption thing (even if you’re anti-cat, although adopting other animals is also a great idea). And thank you so much for putting in ‘adopt’, rather than buying – so many people don’t know how appalling the pet industry is. Speaking of which, would Miseducated be able to do a feature on that, possibly?

  • Reply amberrenee 10/21/2009 at 4:41 pm

    That’s a GREAT idea! I once did articles about animal adoption and animal abuse when in college.. Volunteering at the Humane Society makes you see how selfish people really are. “Have any puppies or kittens? No? Ok, off to the abusive pet mill pet store chain.”

  • Reply athinalabella 10/24/2009 at 6:57 am

    I love have two cats. They never fail to make me smile. I have 2, one older cat, and one kitten. <3 <3

  • Reply Jennifer 10/24/2009 at 7:38 pm

    @ amberrenee, I totally understand what you’re saying. Unfortunately, a lot of people just don’t realize the reality of pet mills, which is why an article on it would be awesome. Animals are so lovely; it’s a shame many don’t see it.

  • Reply amberrenee 10/25/2009 at 1:07 am

    Aw, I’m glad we both see the beauty in animals and the amazing little beings they are! I really should do an article on this soon.. I’m beginning to feel a need to include many more heart-felt articles mixed in with the whimsy and DIY! šŸ™‚ I guess I need it a bit right now so I assume there are others that do as well.. it really is very important, the animal mill issue.

    Athina, I have a cat and a chihuahua who make my world go round!

  • Reply michelleshea 10/25/2009 at 1:45 pm

    I agree with all of the above statements, girls. I have a shelter rescue kitty who’s the love of my life and it breaks my heart to hear anyone buy from pet stores when there are these fabulous, loving beings just waiting to be rescued.

  • Reply Jennifer 10/27/2009 at 2:14 am

    I have to say that I’m totally loving the new articles in the ‘Design Your Life’ section, so I for one can absolutely say that the more ‘heart-felt’ articles (I assume this is what you’re referring to) would be appreciated šŸ™‚ I can’t speak for others, but they do resonate strongly with me, and I would think they would for most readers of Miseducated, too.

  • Reply scott 11/07/2009 at 12:52 pm

    I like your site, I realize it is meant for the ladies, but I think my journey in life is to understand the fairer sex so that perhaps I can find a way to my personal goals. Thank you for your great insight and perspective.

  • Reply amberrenee 11/07/2009 at 3:22 pm

    I’m so happy to hear our site is helping you! We actually have a quite a few male followers and we appreciate absolutely every one. šŸ™‚ So glad to have you here — you have me thinking it might be time to incorporate some male perspective into the mix.

  • Reply Letia 04/24/2011 at 4:04 am

    I loved reading the article it really got me thinking, that I have been missing a lot about life, from now on I will stop worrying, will focus on good things, will start loving and accepting myself completely and unconditionally. I have a fish at home as my pet, was always lazy to take care of it especially if I’m stressed n feeling down, so from now on wards will take care of it without fail, I will love it, feed it, change the tank twice a week, and ofcource communicate with it. Thanks so much for an encouraging article.

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