Browsing Tag

positive

Design Your Life

Just Say No to Negativity

02/17/2010

In order to focus on the positive aspects of my life, one of my main goals (and a tough one to tackle most of the time) is to get rid of the negativity in my life. As you know, negative can come in many, many forms and a lot of these forms are out of your control. Negative thoughts are sneaky little devils, creeping into our minds and trying with great persistence to lead us away from the positive. And, unfortunately, once we open the door to one negative thought, a bunch of others seem to sneak in.

So how can you stop the negativity from taking over? Here are some things I try to remember when I’m tempted to embrace negative thoughts:

monsterNegativity is boring. For most people, it is easier to be negative than it is to be positive. Most people give into (and, in fact, often embrace) negativity, and end up giving up negativevibes. Their attitudes and actions become negative. If you are thinking negatively, you are like so many other people — taking the easy path. The easy path is not only uninteresting, but it is also detrimental to your well-being (even though, at the time, it may feel satisfying to giveinto that negative emotion or thought).

Negativity is unattractive. People like happy people; it’s a fact. Would you rather be around someone who is grumpy and moping and complaining or would you rather spend time with someone who is uplifting and always looking for the good in a situation? Exactly. People don’t want to be around negative people so you will be a lot more popular (with others and with yourself) if you keep a positive attitude.

Negativity is pointless. Being negative does not get you anywhere. There is absolutely nothing to be gained from looking at the negative side of things. While the positive may, at times, be idealistic, it forces your brain to think about happiness and increases the positivity in your emotions and actions. Thinking negatively does not. It does absolutely nothing for you, so why do it?

Negativity is tiring. Think about about happy thought. Now think about a sad one. Which thought was more draining? Emotionally and physically, thinking negatively can take it’s toll on our minds and bodies. While it sometimes feels like the easier thought to embrace, the more negative thought will ultimately cause more harm than good because it will allow your mind to be open to other negative thoughts. One negative thought can lead to another and before you know it, you are emotionally drained from thinking thoughts that make you upset, sad, or angry.

Negativity is time-consuming. Even though a lot of the time it is a negative thought jumps to the forefront of our minds, it actually takes a lot more time to think about things from a negative perspective. For example, if you allow yourself to think about what might go wrong in a situation, it’s very likely that your mind will wander to all of the other possible scenarios in which something could go wrong. You will then begin to worry about those scenarios and attempt to think about ways to solve potential problems. You will have spent time stressing about situations that may or may not happen — all because you let in one negative thought. Not only will you be wasting time and emotional energy, but you are also allowing yourself to live too much in the future, a place that is completely unknown and completely unworthy of your worrying thoughts.

Now that we’ve looked at some of the reasons not to be negative, let’s think about some ways to avoid negativity. One way is to concentrate on your thoughts and emotions and take control of them. Focus on remaining positive and living in the present moment. For more on these, see my post on mindfulness. Another way to avoid negativity is to communicate with others. As I have mentioned, clear communication often avoids conflicts and avoiding conflicts can avoid reasons to stray into negative territory. In addition, negativity can be avoided by having something positive to focus on other than your thoughts. If you like to walk, take a walk. If you have a favorite TV show, watch it. If you have a friend who always cheers you up, call him or her. Sometimes the easiest way to avoid the negativity creeping into your life is to distract yourself from it. There is a fine line between distracting yourself and ignoring a problem, but if you are certain the negative thoughts will not lead to a productive understanding of a situation, person, or problem (which is most often the case), it is best to avoid the thoughts altogether.

Negativity can be hard to escape. Not only do we have our own minds to contend with, but we must deal with those around us who can be negative, we must tackle negative environments or situations, and we must deal with negative images in the media. However, there are many ways to avoid negativity. Whether it is removing yourself from a situation or taking the time to think about your own viewpoint, removing (or, at the very least, lessening) negativity is an essential step to embracing a positive life.

Design Your Life

How to Look Gorgeous Instantly

02/08/2010

Do you want to catch the eye of everyone around you? Do you want to appear happy and healthy (even if you’re plagued with the flu and totally bummed out)? Do you want to look absolutely gorgeous without makeup, without a chic outfit, and without any effort? Well here’s how!

The first step to instant beauty is CONFIDENCE. Even if you aren’t confident in yourself, looking confident makes you feel confident. At the beginning of each day, take a minute to pause and say to yourself, “This is MY day. I can do whatever I want with this day, and I’m going to succeed.” Starting each morning this way will give you a confidence boost that will last all day long, and can give you the spring in your step needed to appear confident to the outside world.

bettie page

Another thing that makes you look instantly gorgeous is SMILING. Make it a goal to smile every single day. Smile at strangers. Smile at friends. Smile at family. Even smile at your pets! Smiling makes you seem approachable, down to earth, and friendly. And nothing is more attractive than that! Also, simply smiling makes you happy. Smiling also leads to laughing, which can make you even happier.

A third key that can instantly improve your appearance is POSTURE. People that walk around with their shoulders slumped and their eyes to the ground don’t look very appealing, do they? Instead, roll your shoulders back, keep your head held high, and look straight ahead. This makes you look ready to take on the world, and feel that way too!

My last tip is to drink a lot of WATER. This will keep your skin glowing without any makeup. Drinking water helps clear your body of toxins, so your skin will look fresh and gorgeous. It not only makes skin look ravishing, but it’s also incredibly healthy and can help with many other things.

Try these tips and you will see an instant difference! You don’t need expensive makeup, fancy clothes, or dramatic hairstyles to look beautiful. Just be confident, healthy, and enjoy your day! People will definitely take notice.

Diary

Inside her Stomach is Her Heart

02/02/2010

Occassionally I’ll get personal and I’ll let you peek into the nonsensical world I call my own. I adore reading your stories and connecting with you, so I feel the best thanks is to be honest and sharing as well.

rainbow bunny

Me? Pregnant? Surely not.. I’d always been told it would be tough for me to conceive if not impossible. I had stopped taking my birth control for about a year now and I had to admit I felt a little strange.

Many friends in the past had told me, “You just know.” .. and I had found that very hard to believe, but here I was feeling the same way they described. Something was different. I began to feel constantly nauseated and went to the dr assuming I had caught some sort of flu. They wanted to do a pregnancy test and as they excitedly sprinted back into the room I knew what the result was.

“.. So are you trying to have a baby? It’s positive!”

My husband looked at the ceiling in absolute shock, tears of happiness along with smiles and a lot of “are you serious??” We had always wanted to someday.. but just weren’t sure if it would happen so we didn’t put a lot of pressure on it. I had hardly considered a baby and here I was expecting. We left with some shots and tests ecstatic beyond our wildest imaginations. .. So we have a new family member?

I’ve tried not to get too attached to the idea and waited to tell everyone because deep down inside I worry that something will be wrong but there it is, nestled in my abdomen safe and sound. It’s too good to be true. I’m so excited to meet them, care for them and show them the world. It’s been my absolute dream to weave a childhood of happiness and sweet memories with my husband.

I’m 17 weeks pregnant now and in three weeks we’ll find out if the baby is a girl or a boy — we’re excited for either, of course! I’m pretty feminine so a girl would easily become the center of my world, but with the unsurpassable love I experienced when my nephew was born and as he has grown, I know I’ll be absolutely pleased with a healthy boy or girl.

Oh, Miseducated, how I miss you and our talks — I’ve developed a new schedule so that I’ll have more time for my very favorite project, you. In the future you’ll meet my newest work of art, the baby of my dreams.

Escapeland Thankful for Monday

Thankful for Monday: Web Gratitude

11/06/2009

Gratitude journals are an easy task to add to your day that actually improves your happiness and gratefulness overtime. You begin take notice of what’s really important when you start writing down five things per day that you are thankful for.. whether you have a lot to be thankful for or not so many things.. it should help you evaluate what’s really important in your life for your happiness.

I definately keep a gratitude journal on my iPhone, it even lets you rate the day and attach a photo — great idea for bloggers! Imagine you rating each day and attaching a photo to symbolize it. What makes your days rate 5 (1-5)?

So since gratitude is always awesome I figured I’d attach some for the web world as well. I’m very thankful for the internet — without it my career would not exist. What better way to enjoy the wonderfulness of the world wide web than to appreciate 5 extra special places of interest each week?

Want to see something here? This could be related to humor, entertainment, design, diy, self-help, health, fashion, art,events, your call! If you want to let us know about your own blog or project, be sure to email us and you just might be listed here next Friday!

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PaperCakes Finds (Cutie Girl Style post)
Chelsea is sweeter than sugar-coated gumdrops. When she told me her new finds list was inspired by me I was elated.. and then to see that the actual finds were snatched from my wildest dreams! This is exactly what I love the handcraft world because there is every kind of style, even my style, and they’re all made with the utmost care and precision of an artisan. Custom and one of a kind.

Instead of allowing someone to choose what is on the shelves we are choosing exactly what we want from the world and it makes us all a little bit more appreciative of the wonderful people making these amazing things. More empathy towards others is a huge thing to be thankful for — without it I would not have met many of the amazing people I’ve met on and offline.

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Japan L.A.
One of the absolute cutest and most adorable pop culture shops right in L.A. They promote local artists and Japanese inspiration — two things I’m very passionate about. Absolutely adorable place, when I visited I couldn’t stop finding things to drop into my basket. I even found cute and well-loved gifts for MisterEducated and my best friend while there.

3704969723_6aac7e6397
(Photo Copyright Twinkie Chan)

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Twinkie Chan
If there were a more amazing decadent, pop art food textile designer I would be shocked. She creates adorable accessories that look good enough to eat sweet! Not only is she a diy-diva but she’s also a sweetheart to boot! I guarantee you’ll be drooling after you take a look at her creations!

4

Pupe Girl
A tasty little Japanese fashion site that you probably already know about but perhaps not.. you earn accessories and clothing by uploading photos of your own accessories and clothing as well as by participating in the community. It’s a cute Japanese social network based around fashion — what could be better?

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Bento Box Guide
An ‘old skool’ website I was surprised to still find up! It’s a cute little guide on bento boxes and is absolutely aimed towards the beginner, yes even you can make them! So give it a try and be proud of your adorable, healthy lunch.

Design Your Life

Learning to Love You

10/20/2009
smile on the outside

I’m totally new at this and I’m not going to try to be something I’m not. Instead I’m going to put myself out there and hope to inspire you to do amazing things for yourself. Although I’ve always tried to put myself out there I’ve also always held back.. and only those closest to me know why.

I have struggled with merely liking myself my entire life — it is my problem and my vice. I know that it’s important for me to get this under control, to find love for myself in order to improve my quality of life, succeed at the goals I work towards and continue to be inspired — but how?

Well it IS hard, but once you begin on the road to self-love you will notice your life and appreciation for life looking brighter and brighter. You get what you put out in a sense, so start focusing on positive things and treating others as you would like to be treated. You’ll see a change. It’s always hard at first — anxiety, change, fear — it’s scary. You’ll begin to notice that when you force yourself to do the things you used avoid they become easier to do.

In my quest for self-improvement I have come across the most wonderful, inspirational girl, website and podcast. Her name is Gala Darling and she has a blog devoted to crowning your beautiful life and an amazing self-improvement podcast.

“You cannot be lonely if you like the person you are alone with.”
– Wayne Dyer

Does comparing yourself to others create negative feelings which cause you to feel bad about yourself? This happens to everyone, everyone is improving themselves in someway. Comparison is the all purpose killer, everyone is absolutely different in every way and has their own story, life, dna, experiences, etc. This is your only life, make it worth your while and don’t let others, who may not even really know you, define you.

You have to reprogram your thinking and start to take notice of the things you enjoy about yourself and about life. Sure everyone has something about them that may cause you to clash with others, but what things attract others to you? What things are important to the person that you are? If you feel you are working towards bettering yourself and achieving your goals you will feel more satisfied and confident.

Remember you cannot change the way that people treat you, if they like you or even if they want to give you the time of day. You have to show them why they should give you the time of day and if they respond negatively, change the way you react to it. You cannot change anyone or make everyone like you so someday you’re going to have to reprogram the way criticism makes you feel.

Making a Change

Don’t worry. Worrying changes nothing.
Make a list of and focus on your good qualities and attributes; don’t focus on negative ones.
Be kind to others, see yourself in them.
Find your passion and set achievable goals daily.
Choose a role model; their good qualities can inspire you to be a better person.
Accept compliments.
Know that you are a valuable person. Your time is valuable.
Take care of yourself.
Celebrate your differences.
Smile.
Make eye contact with others when interacting.
Act confident even if you aren’t, if you don’t feel it now you’ll start to.
Consider adopting a cat for responsibility, a routine, comfort and unconditional love.
Take action.

“Many people appreciate the power of positive thinking. But we believe that positive thinking alone is of limited value. Simply repeating positive affirmations such as “I am a wonderful person with much to offer the world” will NOT change your life unless you actively DO something to reinforce that you ARE a wonderful person with much to offer the world!” , Self-Esteem for Women.

“I have an everyday religion that works for me. Love yourself first, and everything else falls into line.”
– Lucille Ball

.. and remember, if we’re new at this we need to take it one day at a time.

“Keep looking at the bright-side and someday you’ll see yourself there.”
– Benjamin Amick aka Mistereducated

Resources

How to Love Yourself in 17 Ways

Design Your Life

How To Best Approach a Relationship

10/13/2009

Here’s the deal. Most of us approach relationships like drunken sailors, intoxicated with the ideas and fantasies we have about relationships as opposed to the sobering reality of them, and desperate (or lonely, as the case may be) like your ship has just come in—or is about to leave port. Not a great strategy if you want a great relationship.

So, get a piece of paper and write these things down:

1. First, what do you want? (spell it out)
2. What are you willing to do about it?

I know, I have said this before, but let’s take a closer look—trust me. Let’s start with number 1: What do you want? On your paper, across from each item you have listed in your want column, write down what you have instead. For example:

I WANT

An ideal partner, someone to share my life with
A big house with 3 kids, a dog and live near the water
To be debt-free and have 1 million dollars in the bank

I HAVE

I am single and live alone
I live in the city, small flat w/a fish
I am in between careers and in debt

Whatever the case is, write it down. The space in between what you have and what you want, let’s call your motivational crevasse. For some this may seem gaping, for others totally achievable. Which brings us to number 2: What are you willing to do about it?

On the back of that paper, write down what time you woke up today and what you did, go ahead, write it. Include when you got up, who you spent time with, what books you read, TV you watched, when you went to work, and so on. And be as specific as you can! Then I want you to get another piece of paper, draw a monthly calendar, and mark the days that are pretty much like this day. Go on.

If you’re like most of us, we do about the same thing pretty much each day, consistently, whatever those things are; hang out with certain people, go to particular places, participate in certain activities, watch TV, go on our computers, etc. We have routines and patterns. We are creatures of habit.

We also know that it takes a certain amount of discipline and practice to bring a thought or idea into fruition, or “make them real,” as they say. For example, we get our diploma by going to school, studying, showing up and doing what it takes to make that happen. Same applies for our dream relationship, our dream life.

Now for the math equation: Take what you want, add what you do all day, and see if it equals what you have!

I know, this seems harsh, well…what can I say, it is. When we want something bad enough, we do what it takes to make it happen, rather than sitting around believing in fairy tales, hoping “the one” will just show up and we’ll live happily ever after. Odds are this is never going to happen, and the facts are in, ladies and gentlemen; it almost never does. Why wait? Go make it happen yourself. The good news is, since what you do begets what you have, try something different! Instead of watching TV, take a relationship class; or instead of hours of doing things that aren’t getting you what you want, start doing things that will bring you closer to creating what you do want! Next thing you know, you will want what you have… which, Buddha says, is the definition of happiness.